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***QUESTION***

Hi,

I'll try to keep this short. First of all, your book is great. Great tips, great guidelines. Second, as a proof of success, a few nights ago I went out with some friends, and tried something new, based on your guidelines. I saw this hot girl at the bar, asking for a drink. And instead of complimenting her on her great physical looks, I said hi to her and told her I liked how her unusual belt looked on her. That's it. And then turned around and walked away. I didn't even let her talk. Ten seconds later she comes to where I was with a friend and said to me "the good thing is that it keeps my pants in their place", and everything worked from there. We began to talk, etc. I would have never done that before. I gave it a try, and the outcome was good. That same night I stayed away from the usual "you are pretty, blah, blah" and focused on other things, trying to start a conversation in a C&F way, and it works better than the usual stuff. I met about 4 girls that night. Got the hot girl's email address.

I also wanted to ask you for advice on something. After that night's success, last night I went out to a dance club and this is the scenario. Crowded place, loud music, pretty girl seated in a table with other friends (guys and girls). Can't quite assure if good eye contact is being made because of the club lights. Let's assume there is. I did notice she looked at me about 3 times. She never leaves the table, she is seated between her friends (hard to approach her). I didn't know what to do in order to have her leave the table to try some talking. This is a major problem. You can't just go there and approach her in front of all her friends (can I?) I had to do something! I waited over an hour to see if she moved, but she didn't. So I decided to write a message on a napkin and have the waiter give it to her. I thought this at least would define is she was interested or not, and then move on to other target if she wasn't. I wrote something like this: "Since I haven't been able to run into you apart from your table, I decided to send you this note..." and then complimented her on a prop she had, etc, (C&F) I thought that if she was interested she then would move to the bar, or somewhere else where we could meet and talk. A few minutes before I was going to send her the note, she and one of her girlfriends stepped away from the table. While I was watching where she was going to stop (I try not to hit on a girl while she is moving), I realized she was leaving the place. I thought she might come back because she didn't say goodbye to her other friends. She never came back. She left with a girl, but she isn't lesbian or bi either (I know who she is). So at the end of the night (2 hours later) I approached one of her girlfriends and asked her to give the note to the girl (I wrote down my email). I told her I was going to talk to her and give her the note personally, but she had left and I couldn't do it. Her friend asked me "so this message is from who?", I said "the guy with the black shirt, necklace with a shark tooth, from the table next to yours". I don't even know if she will remember, or if she noticed because of the "unconfirmed" eye contact. I need feedback on this, man. How do you approach a girl in a scenario like this? What would you have done? I think what I did is wrong, giving the note to her friend, but what the hell. We all have to make mistakes to improve on this, right? Thanks!! Keep up the good work. Waiting for Episode II of Double your Dating.

R.M. from Miami

» MY COMMENTS:

First of all, I admire the hell out of you, because you did SOMETHING instead of NOTHING. Nice.

Now, as for what to do in a situation like that one...

I have a friend that does something interesting. He'll call the waiter over, and say "Can you deliver this napkin to that girl over there? But don't tell her who it's from." Then, he'll draw a tic tac toe game, and put an X in one of the squares. (Always tip the waiter a dollar!)

The napkin almost always comes back, and the game is on...

It's fun, mysterious, and the girl always wants to know who's playing with her.

I've used this before, and it's great fun.

At some point, depending on whether you're winning or losing, you can come over to her table and say something like "Well, I had to meet my worthy opponent" or "I hope you talk better than you play" etc.

Also, if a woman gets up and is about to leave, that's a GREAT time to go get her info!!!

Just walk up and say "Hi, I was going to come talk to you earlier but I got busy... what's your name? Do you have email?" Easy. 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