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***QUESTION***

"Dave,

Great book. I'll get right to the point.

How can you tell if the girl you're dating is a wacko (I'm sure you've met a few)? By 'wacko' I mean the following: How do you tell if she's the type that really wants slight emotional abuse? How do you gauge her self-esteem quickly and early? How do you tell if she's the type that can't take it when you try to do something nice for her? How do you tell if she's a female player?

Clearly, I've discovered, that I have no chance with women like these. So it's important to be able to see these things as early as possible. Any signs you look for?

Thanks,

J."

***MY COMMENTS***


This is a GREAT question. And I think that it's a timely question as well. It seems to me that there are more and more un-healthy people running around out there. It's a good idea to look out for them. One of the reasons why I suggest not getting too involved with a woman too fast is that SHE MIGHT BE A PSYCHO!

Don't laugh... I've had it happen to me. Once upon a time I fell for a woman too quickly, moved in with her, then found out she was basically a psycho. It was a huge bummer.

So what are the warning signs?

Well, watch out for women who:

1) Talk too much about who they know, how much money they spend on frivolous things, and what social events are important to be seen at. Bad news. These are usually signs of a very unhealthy personality.

2) Say they're sorry for everything, make excuses for everything, and act overly-self-conscious. Low self esteem here... which is difficult to deal with.

3) Want to spend every minute with you, and want to know where you are at all times. Overly-jealous, possessive women will make your life hell.

4) Get very emotional. Women who get upset about things, let other people's drama affect their lives, want to complain about their situation, etc. will drag you down. If a woman starts getting too emotional about something too early on, consider hitting the road.

5) Are too shy. If a woman is too shy, it's going to be hard for you to ever have meaningful communication or fun. Women who are shy have often not learned how to communicate well... which makes it hard to enjoy your time with them.

As a rule of thumb, TRUST YOUR STOMACH. If your stomach tells you that something is wrong, then something probably IS wrong. Don't assume that just because a woman is attractive she's also psychologically healthy. That's the fast lane to trouble.

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